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The Cheetahmen Comic, Page 5-6

Mayor Mike Haggar
It took them fifteen years to figure out that the guy who shot their mother was evil and was, in fact, the guy who shot their mother.

A true display of wit and deduction by our heroes!
Mega Man
At this rate they'll be in their late forties by the time they figure out which end of the crossbow to point at him.
Max Payne
Most of the bad guys would feed their goons a line of bullshit about how the people they're attacking are evil and what they were "stealing" was his property. Not Morbis.  He threw them out on their asses faster than they could say "New York Minute".  Needless to say, they quickly switched sides and set out for revenge.  Revenge that would come at the cost of poisoning thousands of Nintendo systems worldwide.  None of us were safe.
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