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2/18/2014

Frozen Part 1 (An Aberration Arboretum presenation)

Zero X. Diamond
Sometimes people learn from their mistakes.  Certainly, I did; after all, today, I can look back on all the weird and terrible things I was doing back then and laugh.  The thing is, though, it doesn't always happen fast enough.  Our next outing down this dark and winding path takes us from the days of Rise of the Technoids and forward to the year 2002, a dark year indeed.  While the space babes and sexual harrassment hijinks of Zero Diamond were behind us at this point, there was a new challenger on the horizon: Happy Bob.

Happy Bob was a new concept for me at the time, and was largely the opposite of Zero Diamond: a scrawny, psychopathic loner whose parents died in a tragic accident who's constantly running from the law and trying to keep his fractured psyche together.  He possesses no super powers and wears filthy old clothes.  Unfortunately, at the time, he was essentially just a stick figure I'd doodled in school that I wanted to bring to life, so we end up with a character who was developing as we went along with a backstory that conflicts with itself at several points and, moreover, he STILL ends up in a weird romance (that even ends up with its own lesser-scale harem elements).  Oh, and despite not having powers, he still has a shitty, stupid power where he can pull things out of nowhere, because why not?

Fans of these riffs will be interested to know that later on, our favorite fanboy shows up with his pink-haired princess, with whom Happy Bob quickly becomes enamored because fuck you, that's why.  What starts out as a fairly reasonable premise for a fan fiction is once again destroyed by the presence of author characters, this time VASTLY outnumbering our original heroes, as well as too many people with conflicting ideas of what direction things should be going in changing the actions and motivations of the villains to suit their needs.  The only solace you have in this fic is knowing that it's not my premise and that I didn't write 75% or more of it like our last outing.  And, despite it still being shitty, I like to think my writing here is at least A LITTLE less unbearable.

That having been said, let's get this party started.





I'm deciding to give this IF another chance.

Spoony Spoonicus
Interactive Fiction: Not Even Once.


Apparantly, there were a few people that didn't take my decision to delete the former version of this IF too well. If somehow deleting that version offended anyone, I apologize.

Zero X. Diamond
Prefacing your story with an apology is always a good sign.

2 ACs (Introduce with AC NOT knowing what happened & in unique way)
Serious with occasional humor
Novel Format

Zero X. Diamond
Oh boy, does this mean we can buy Frozen in hardcover like that terrible fucking My Little Pony/Fallout crossover??


-------------------------------------------------

Ness was at Burglin Park with his three friends. They were having a picnic to celebrate the year they had free of Giygas.

Mayor Mike Haggar
This is exactly how the other one started.  We're in a moebius loop!


"Man, it feels good to be a kid again," Ness sighed, laying back on the blanket.

Zero X. Diamond
Ness had spent the entire period between 1995 and 1996 doing people's taxes.


"It does," Paula agreed wholeheartedly. She fell back to lay next to Ness. She watched the clouds drift by, trying to see if any mimicked another thing. As one floated by, a small, but bright, red dot was visible.

Zero X. Diamond
A lone Starman, cut off from his forces after the defeat of Giygas, trained his sniper rifle on Ness.  "This one's for DX," he said, chambering a round.


-------------------------------------------------

"Is the device ready?" the ship's captain asked.

"It is ready, but we're not sure if it will work. We haven't had a chance to test it."

Zero X. Diamond
Let me guess...


"Prepare the device and fire when ready."

Zero X. Diamond
Of course.


The captain's chair swiveled away from the scientist. The scientist scampered back to the device.

"What did the captain say?" another lab technician asked.

Zero X. Diamond
Did he fucking stutter?

Bad Box Art Mega Man
No, but I think he lisped a little.

Mega Man
Don't make me "thmack" you.


"He said to prepare for firing the device."

Mayor Mike Haggar
You know what I really like in any story?  Characters playing telephone!


"Did he specify a target?"

Zero X. Diamond
Just do what the space men always do: play iconic monument roulette!


"No..." the scientist leaned over to a speaker and pressed a button. "Captain? What is our target?"

"Let's see... how about the planet? Yes, the blue one."

"Yes sir." The scientist released the button. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Fire."

Spoony Spoonicus
"Whoops, hold on.  I spilled my coffee on the control panel.  This is going to take at least 22 hours to fix..."


A red beam shot from the ship and struck the atmosphere of Earth. A red sphere enveloped the planet.

Zero X. Diamond
So what I'm getting from this is that our villains' motivation is a desire to test out some new thing they built and the only reason they fired it at Earth was because it was the first thing the captain saw on his viewscreen?


-------------------------------------------------

"Ness, what's that?" Paula asked as she pointed out the red dot in the sky.

Spoony Spoonicus
A gathering of angels, come to sing us a song of hope?


"I don't know. The only thing I can think of is that it's a star."

"It can't be a star," Jeff interrupted.

"Why not?"

"It's daylight and the stars' light is always blocked out by the sun's light."

Zero X. Diamond
"That and stars aren't red to the naked eye, stupid."


"Oh."

Just then, the dot started to expand and in a matter of minutes, the sky was now a mix of blue and red, with the red overpowering the blue.

Spoony Spoonicus
Connor Macleod just turned on the planetary shield, dooming the planet to eternal night.


"Ness, what's-" as Paula spoke, she stopped dead. Her body froze in place. Ness, Jeff, and Poo also were immobile. The Earth became frozen in time.

Christopher Lloyd
I was FROZEN today!

Zero X. Diamond
Sounds like this is going to be a really boring story then.




 Jake quickly reached into the man's pocket and slipped out a wallet. Surprisingly, the man had abruptly stopped his conversation and sort of stood there, rigid. Jake scratched his head and turned around,

Zero X. Diamond
That's my first reaction when a dude I'm pickpocketing ceases all motion and instantly stops talking: mild confusion.


only to see a dog taking a whiz on a fire hydrant, only he stood as still as a mountain. In fact, it seemed all of the pedestrains of Onett had jst stopped all activity and froze in place.

Zero X. Diamond
Number 2 is summoning Rover to capture him.


He looked up, confused, and gasped. The sky was a shifting pattern of reds and blues.  "What's going on?" he mused aloud. Everything was perfectly still. Much to his disbelief, a bird was hanging in midair with an equally rigid worm in its beak.

Spoony Spoonicus
You're trapped in Chrono Cross.  A fate worse than death.


"And why can I still move?

Zero X. Diamond
A question I am 99% positive will never, ever be answered.


What's going on?" Jake moaned. He shoved the hot wallet into his many-pocketed jacket and slowly walked over to the nearest building, the Hotel Onett. If I'm not stcuk, then other people must not be as well. I'm finding those people. He thought to himself as he stepped into the lobby...

Zero X. Diamond
... where he remained, unmentioned, for the rest of the story.

 


 Boris' capitol ship happened to be in the Terra sector when the incident began.

Zero X. Diamond
Okay, here we go.  I was worried this might actually take place in a proper EarthBound setting for a minute there.

Mayor Mike Haggar
Boris Badenov?  Boris Karloff?  Boris Grishenko?  Boris the Animal?

Spoony Spoonicus
He could be literally anyone of Russian descent since that's the only Russian name most people know.

Matt
Borscht Kremlin Philosopher's Legacy!


 He didn't know immidiately however, he was a solar system or two away at the time. He fortunately decided it was time for a visit to his species homeworld.

Zero X. Diamond
So this guy's a human being in the 90s who just happens to be in command of some massive interstellar spaceship?

"Commander, we are within 2 lightyears of earth, and were getting some intresting readings" shouted a science officer. "Explain" responded Boris.
"Well there seems to be an intresting flux field surrounding Earth, some sort of distortion, were getting alot of Protisian particlies"

Zero X. Diamond
And our meaningless, made-up technobabble levels are increasing!

"Those little stasis field particles?" groaned Boris

Spoony Spoonicus
The captain has no time for your bullshit technobabble.

"...Yes"
"greeeat, just what I need, a problem with my vacation spot,

Zero X. Diamond
So wait, is it your home planet or your vacation spot?


all right, scan for craft in the area, ready a shuttle to the surface, 2 officer crew"

Spoony Spoonicus
you know what i really hate, is when people type like this, using no capital letters or periods or anything, they just type in one long run-on sentence, like this, with commas every six words, and they usually cant spell either, i mean its like they're just typing pure stream of consciousness and they have no idea how grammar or basic readability works, its super annoying you know

"Yessir"

They arrived at earth 52 seconds later.

Clobberpuppy
Just enough time to get bored of playing Action 52!


"Launching Craft..." noted the navigation officer "Front viewscreen on"

Zero X. Diamond
MAIN SCREEN TURN ON!


The craft began desending into the atmosphere, the moment it got under the red field it slowed, and finally became frozen in space.

"S.O. report,

Zero X. Diamond
You forgot the L.


what the hell was that?" Demanded Boris
"distortion it appears, and it looks long term"
"Ship hailing us" shot the com officer

Zero X. Diamond
This guy's grammar is impeccable, by the by.  Really top notch.


"Attention Raynor's

Zero X. Diamond
Misread this as "Ryoto's" and my stomach nearly gave out.


army vessal,

Spoony Spoonicus
Boris Raynor who was Jim Raynor's brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

you are interfearing with test process 417, please leave the area and we will retrieve your shuttle via tractor beam" came a pictureless voice over the com
"I want an explanation now, you do realize this planet is inhabited by sentient life, and its a homeworld no less" Boris barked back over the com
"No we didnt and it is of no consequence, the weapon's effect is designed only to last for 550 years, this planet will return to normal in exactly that long, the ecosystems should take minor damage at most, the effect is only for animal life"

Spoony Spoonicus
So everyone's just going to snap out of it and find their houses blown down by tornadoes, leveled by earthquakes, covered in overgrown plant life and caked with fallout from melted-down power plants.  Yep, nobody will notice that!


"550 YEARS!?" exclaimed Boris "Everyone will be dead by then,

Zero X. Diamond
Except they're frozen in time, so uh, they should probably be fine?


 we need details of reversal now"
"I'm afraid thats impossible, It would compromise the effectiveness of the weapon, its a shock tactic, to make sure the rebels never rise up against us again,

Zero X. Diamond
Were we supposed to do some preliminary reading here?

Mayor Mike Haggar
Bullshit plot points that will never be explained counter: 1


if they know it can be countered, they will not be affected by it"
"Actually I really don't give a **** about your internal problems,

Zero X. Diamond
Four asterisks: the true sign of a badass.


give us the details now, or you will be disabled and borded"

Zero X. Diamond
I'm already getting borded.


"Commander their ship has gone to warp, but several pods containing life-forms, and also several probes have entered the atmosphere, they seem immune to the effects"

Zero X. Diamond
They've deployed their robeasts!  Call for Voltron!!


reported a nearby officer
"Our priority countering whatever has happened, set coordinates to whever that ship is going, chase them, it may be possible to overtake them. We will have to leave the ones that went to the surface to whatever may be moveing down there"

Mayor Mike Haggar
Sounds reasonable.  Leave the handful of civilians that escaped the effect somehow to fight against technology centuries beyond our own with sticks and fire!

 


"Hyaa!" Brett shouted, throwing a kick at his brother.

Zero X. Diamond
Our good friend the anime training scene.  Great for filler when you don't want to bother with actual plot!


 Zac's arms crossed over his chest to block the blow. Quickly, he tried to counter with a leg sweep, but Brett was too fast. He hopped over the moving leg and turned his momentum into an attack; shifting his weight, Brett changed the hop into a flip kick. Zac pulled his head out of the way and Brett's foot flew in front of his face by only a few inches.

Spoony Spoonicus
Think whoever wrote this was a fan of those "fighting stick figure" flash videos from way back in the day?

Zac used the time it would take his brother to land to plan a strategy. As Brett was almost back to an upright position, Zac started to charge an energy attack.

"Ionic Cannon!" Zac shouted and fired the attack at Brett.

Clobberpuppy
Bionic ARRRRRM!


"What the-" Brett shouted as he faded from view. He reappeared a few milliseconds later, behind Zac. Brett caught Zac off-guard and elbowed him in the back, sending him sprawling across the training room floor.

"Okay, okay, I give up," Zac sighed as he saw Brett coming in for another blow.

"Told you I can get you to give," Brett smirked. "I beat you, so that means you have to clean the house."

Zero X. Diamond
Dragonball Z as written by the minds behind the Brady Bunch.


"I know, I know."

"Computer, reset gravity to normal."

"Normal gravity established."

Spoony Spoonicus
Now we have artificial gravity machines?  Are we in the present day or the future?  Make up your minds!


"I'll be nice and let you eat before you start to clean." Brett opened the door. As soon as the two stepped outside, they felt something wrong.

"You feel that?" Brett glanced around, cautious of being jumped.

"Yeah."

"Look at the sky, it's a mix of blue and red."

"What do you think that means?"

Clobberpuppy
Earth is slowly turning into Planet Psychlo?


"I don't know. Look, a bird's just floating in the air!"

"How is that possible?" Zac asked.

Zero X. Diamond
HOW DOES BIRD WORK??


"Let's get inside and see what the computer has to say about this."

Mega Man
My mom's Compaq will figure it all out!  It has a Pentium 1 and a whopping TWO MEGS of RAM!

Upon entering the complex the two built a while back, Brett bombarded his computer with an array of questions dealing with the problem outside.



"What do you mean time's been suspended?" Zac shouted.

Zero X. Diamond
Time got in a fight with space outside the cafeteria and the principal caught him.


"I do not know, Zac. The energy dome surrounding the planet has caused this effect."

Francis York Morgan
Time is warped and space is bendable, Zach.  We'll have to go off the book big time for this case.


"How come we weren't frozen?" Brett asked.

"Either your high power levels or the difference in gravity might have somehow shielded yourselves from the stasis effect."

Spoony Spoonicus
There's another plot point I hate - "power levels".  It trivializes the whole story and removes any tension when you know the hero's just going to get some bullshit powerup to make his arbitrary number bigger than the bad guy's and win the day, especially when the whole cornerstone of the action genre is the fact that the hero is the underdog.  You want to see them overcome the odds and win not because they can pull another bullshit power boost out of their ass, but because they've learned from their journey that the key isn't being the strongest or the fastest, but being the smartest. Because they never give up, no matter how many times they fail.  Because they can spot a weak point in the villain's "invincible defenses" at a critical moment and turn their big advantage into their greatest weakness.  That's compelling storytelling.  "Hero who effortlessly curb-stomps everything in his path because his arbitrary number is bigger" is not.

"Are we the only ones able to move still?" Zac asked.

"There are a few people that somehow did not get 'frozen,' just like you two."

"Let's go find some of these people and see what we can do to undo the stasis field surrounding the planet."
 
Zero X. Diamond
You could ask the computer that is aware of the other peoples' existence where they are, but that'd be cheating, right?




As a computer in a house in Autumns began to glow,

Zero X. Diamond
Oh, I get it.  It's like those other places that were actually in the game, except it's not.


 Johnny and Nappamon leaped out.

Zero X. Diamond
Good, now we've got Digimon in the mix.  This story is really going somewhere!  It's somewhere terrible, but hey, somewhere!!

Spoony Spoonicus
Ah Digimon.  A show I, like many, watched in my youth because I was too young and dumb to know about (let alone afford) any anime that wasn't total fucking shit.  Not to mention it's a pedophile magnet of the highest caliber...

They had just moved out of Dave and Canemon's place a few months ago and got a sweet deal on an old place in Autumns. They looked around(See the AC topic for info on Johnny and Nappamon)

Zero X. Diamond
As if we need to be told anything about these beloved characters!


"Wierd...something feels wrong..." Nappamon mused.

Zero X. Diamond
Maybe it's your spelling.


 "I can't quite put my finger on it..."

"Easily explained, Nappamon: you have no fingers."

Zero X. Diamond
*rimshot, spinning bowtie*


Johnny said with a chuckle as they stepped outside.

"HAH! I was right!" Nappamon called shakily as they saw tyhe frozen world.

Zero X. Diamond
Tyhe Frozen World sounds like a stage from an obscure Japanese action platformer.


Johnny checked his upgraded Digivice to see what's up.

Mayor Mike Haggar
Does it have a pager in it or something?  Maybe an old-timey Ebook reader?

Spoony Spoonicus
The screens on those things are tiny.  You'd be able to fit maybe four words at a time on there.

Mayor Mike Haggar
About the same as any average device in the 90s, then.  Couldn't read them unless you were under a stage light either because the screens were darker than pitch and had more glare than the old Game Boys...


"Time has frozen," the words spelled, "freezing everything at the time.

Zero X. Diamond
At no time could time be more frozen than it's frozen to now.  Time, being frozen, is frozen and therefore not acting like time.  As it is frozen, frozen time is frozen.  Frozen.  Time.


You were protected because you were in the Digi-World."

"Greeeat, why is it we can't go a week without something[a new IF that PlasmaPenguin MUST post at]

Zero X. Diamond
Somebody had him at gunpoint and wouldn't let him live if he didn't throw Digimon at this story.


threatining the world? Oh well, we know what to do."

code:

BIOMERGE DIGIVOLUTION



Spoony Spoonicus
Was "biomerging" a thing on the show?  I honestly don't remember.

Then again, I quit watching halfway through the second season because the new characters were twice as obnoxious as the old ones and it couldn't even keep its own bullshit plot points straight anymore...

Nappamon, Biomerge to!
WarriorNacemon!

SO, duh, they took off to investigate.
 
Zero X. Diamond
Like, totally.  Gag me with a spoon.  As if.



Glenn was meditating. It had been a while since he'd trained himself in one of the meditation martial arts, but that was because of Glenn's ineptitude at manipulating his chi.

Zero X. Diamond
You clearly don't have enough quartz crystals or pyramids or orgone generators or something.

Mayor Mike Haggar
Those little metal balls you spin around in your palm work, I hear.

 He had given up on it until recently.

Beforehand, he had done everything he could to heat the room.

Zero X. Diamond
Except for, you know, turning up the thermostat.


 He had been taught to channel energy of almost any kind into himself to sort of "jump start" chi manipulation. The easiest form of energy to access at the moment was heat energy.

The session had started off quite badly. Within ten minutes Glenn was tired, sweaty, and making almost no progress, sitting in a meditation style on his bed.

Zero X. Diamond
How out of shape do you have to be to get wiped out by sitting still and concentrating really hard?

Spoony Spoonicus
I shouldn't bother remembering this character's name then; he's obviously not going to be good for much.


However, a sudden burst of energy caught him off guard. It wasn't the heat he had been concentrating on, so he altered his concentration to accept this new energy.

Zero X. Diamond
He was really embarrassed later when he found out it was a stray wifi signal he was channeling.


It worked! Glenn was controlling chi! Or something like it. He began to levitate off of his bed and concentrate on the first priority that came to his mind: Defense. He concentrated on a shield, concentrated on surrounding himself with a protective shell. Sure enough, he was being protected. From what, he didn't know. But, suddenly, Glenn noticed that his energy source had just dissapeared. He opened his eyes... and fell like a stone to the floor with a lound crash.

Glenn could just hear it now. His mother was going to yell at him from downstairs about dropping heavy objects or something...

Zero X. Diamond
Terribly out of shape AND he lives with his mother?  Look out, ladies.


But he didn't hear it.

"Mom?" Glenn went downstairs to see what was wrong with her.

-----------

Kyle had just finished polishing his sword, Excalabur,

Zero X. Diamond
The guy at the flea market said it was the real deal!


when he decided to complete this wonderful... whatever time of the day it was,

Zero X. Diamond
What, is he in a metal storage container or something?  How the hell doesn't he know??


with a nap.

Spoony Spoonicus
So for those keeping track, our heroes so far include the cast of Earthbound for no real reason, a starship captain from Earth in the year 1995, two Dragonball rejects, a generic Digidestined, a guy who fails at everything he does in life, and another guy whose sole defining characteristic is owning a sword.  And being narcoleptic I guess.

He had just layed his head down, when he glanced out his window.

Something was happening to the sky in the distance... and it was coming closer!

Kyle gripped Excalabur and was about to head outside to check it out, when Excalabur suddenly began to glow.

Zero X. Diamond
He finally found the little plastic button that turns on the LED lights.


It got brighter... and the light began to engulf Kyle! Kyle could only stare at the blade.

Zero X. Diamond
It was then he noticed an inscription: "MADE IN PAKISTAN"


Then, like as if someone tuned it off, the light went away. Kyle looked out the window and saw that the sky was now swirling red and blue.

Kyle made up his mind to go downstairs to see what his stepfather made of it.

Zero X. Diamond
I have a feeling that even if he weren't frozen, stepfather would be passed out drunk on the couch anyways.

Clobberpuppy
This bottle of Steven's awakens ancient feelings, LIKE FATHER, STEP FATHER!


--------

The lovely street of St. Bill Estates,

Spoony Spoonicus
I'm pretty sure when you're sainted or otherwise an important figure in religion, they make you use your full name.  That's why he's called "Pope Francis" and not "Pope Frank".

south of Threed,

Zero X. Diamond
You know, in the woods, where there aren't any roads.


was quiet as usual when the freezing occured.

Spoony Spoonicus
All the residents' brains were eaten by zombies a year ago.


 However, about five minutes after the freezing, the two houses at the end of the street broke the silence as their front doors flew open and two boys ran to meet each other on the street. One was screaming something about a "chi accident", the other about the apocolypse coming and finding his family dead where they stood.

Mayor Mike Haggar
This is a really weird episode of the Randy Beaman skit.




Shine Forever

Zero X. Diamond
A name that would embarrass even George Lucas.


was in an anti-gravity fighter,

Mayor Mike Haggar
And moonlights as either a die-hard otaku or a stripper covered in gold body paint, judging from the name.


shooting through space in the sleek design. Just moments ago had she angered a few space warriors, and they were after her blood. She had a knack for annoying the heck out of the others at the training station.

"Whee!" She screamed in delight as she pulled into an asteroid ring of a nearby planet.

Zero X. Diamond
I think I've figured out why she has a habit of annoying the heck out of others.


Riding on her instinct, she pulled up and down, left to right to avoid the closely packed meteors. Some were tiny, smaller than her hand; others were big as her ship. She continued to a large asteroid belt, and did the same maneuvers in there. When she entered the Inner Terra Sector, only a handful of the others were after her.

Suddenly, the computer online noticed a large ship frequency far off near the sun of the Terra system. With her insatiable curiosity, her fighter went into hyperdrive toward the two ships.

As she neared them, one of the ships were hailing her. The other then disappeared. "On screen," Shine commanded.

A familiar face came on her small screen. "Boris?!"

Zero X. Diamond
"Da, Natasha??"


"Shine! I haven't seen you in so long!" Boris's face was delighted. "Aren't you supposed to be training in the Gorderra sector? What are you doing here?"

"I kinda have people after me...

Mayor Mike Haggar
Bullshit plot points that will never be explained counter: 2


mind if I refuel on your ship?"

"Sure, come on. Bay B23 is open for you." She found her way across the large ship, and docked at the designated bay. When she took off her helmet and got used to the gravity, Boris came striding into view. "Hey, Boris!"

Zero X. Diamond
Are we starting over again?


"Well, I'll be! I suppose that you've navigated through the asteroid belt, right? You should be graduated!"

Zero X. Diamond
She would be if she weren't constantly having to flee after irritating the piss out of her compatriots at the training station with her super-twee antics.


"Well, I can, but the only person that can is you."

Zero X. Diamond
I... what?

Mayor Mike Haggar
Bullshit plot points that will never be explained counter: 3


"Consider it done. That means that you now have to travel with a starship, and which one but mine is good?"

Zero X. Diamond
I'm not following this.

Spoony Spoonicus
This whole thing reads like a scene from a badly translated NES game.


Shine playfully punched Boris's arm. "You need me for something, don't you?"

Zero X. Diamond
 "I've been in space for a long time, baby.  A man has certain... needs."


"Ahh, you caught me again. Ok... Earth is frozen in time, and we're chasing after the people who caused it. Like to come along?"

"Consider it done!"

Zero X. Diamond
To hell with your training!  Join this guy on what may not even be a legal retaliation against a scientific vessel!


After staying for a few more minutes to verify and check any odd occurances, the twins left their complex in the Threed forest

Zero X. Diamond
This makes it sound a lot like they're some kind of mutant test subjects or something.  Which I'm sure isn't the case since that would add some level of depth to these dorks.


and took to the sky.

Spoony Spoonicus
We climbed aboard their star ship and headed for the skies!


 First surveying Threed, they saw the entire town motionless, soundless.

"Man, this is eerie," Zac said.

"Tell me about it," Brett added. "No motion, sound, nothing. Let's go check a different city."

Just as the two started veering towards the Dusty Dunes Desert to head towards Twoson, a small explosion went off. Brett and Zac exchanged a confused glance with one another before heading off to see the source of the detonation.

"I swear I didn't try it! I was just experimenting!" a boy was heard shouting, sounding very concerned.

Spoony Spoonicus
And chalk one up for lines that sound bad out of context.


"This is the apocolypse, I know it!" another one shouted, equally concerned. Brett and Zac landed near the two. Apparantly, the motion against the motionless city scared the two a little.

"What's up guys?" Brett said.

"Nothing much, seeing as the city and planet are doomed," Kyle sighed.

Zero X. Diamond
He goes from terror to acceptance in the span of a few seconds.  That's some mighty fast acting grief.


"Doomed? No, the Earth had just been stopped in time. There's a red sphere surrounding the planet, which is causing the planet's time to be suspended."

Zero X. Diamond
It's a scientific fact that red spheres cause distortions in time.


"Oh, I see." Kyle wiped his forehead in relief. "Why would someone want to freeze the Earth in time?"

"I'd assume so they can take it over," Zac added.

-------------------------------------------------

"Sir! The computer detects motion on the planet!" an ensign reported to the captain, who wanted a report on the effects of the device on the planet.

Mega Man
I never would have guessed.


"What?! How can that be?"

Zero X. Diamond
"Data from our probes suggests increasingly unlikely deus ex machinas, sir!"


"The scientists report that the people that are mobile are strong enough to resist the effects or were doing something that prevented the stasis energy from reaching them, such as high density gravity wells, meditation energy, and others."

The captain's anger was evident, as he pulled out a handgun and shot the ensign on the spot.

Zero X. Diamond
Is it common for alien races to put deranged psychopaths in control of scientific missions?

Spoony Spoonicus
This scene lifted straight from Star Trek 3.  Except here it makes no sense; at least in that movie the guy in question disobeyed orders first...


A laser mark was seen through the body.

"Get this mess cleaned up!" the captain shouted.

"Sir! We have an enemy ship approaching bearing 135 mark 43. Orders, sir!"

Zero X. Diamond
"Invite them over for a light brunch and some tea."


"Prepare the weapons and raise shields. Someone go and tell the scientists to release... Pictos."

Silence befell the bridge as each of them knew the horrors of this creature. One of the men slowly walked out of the room to tell the lab techs.

"The captain wants Pictos to go down to the planet and take care of the unaffected people."

"Pictos?! I thought he said we'd never have to use him again!"

Spoony Spoonicus
The name doesn't exactly inspire terror, especially since it sounds like a drawing app you'd buy for $1.99 on Google Play.


"Those are his orders. I suggest you just get on with it and send Pictos to the planet."

(To give you a general idea, Pictos looks kinda like a Picasso painting, all distorted and such.

Zero X. Diamond
 And is a metaphor for a horrific WWII-era bombing.

When Pictos attacks, his attacks are always confusing and very difficult to block, if at all. Later, I will metion [through the story] a weakness or two to this monster.)
 
Zero X. Diamond
But in the meantime, if you guys encounter it, prepare to have your precious little snowflakes get their asses killed.

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