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1/26/2014

Rise of the Technoids, Part 2

"I am Sean." he said sheathing his sword.

Torgo Sean
I tAkE cArE oF tHe PlAcE wHiLe ThE mAsTeR iS aWaY!

 "And Incase

Zero X. Diamond
And Incase: Attorney At Law
Spoony Spoonicus
Wasn't that Phoenix's rival in Ace Attorney 7?

of any further confusion I am assuming that we are on the same side." he said.

"Yes you did defeat a technoid and thats our goal. Will you join us?" Poo asked.

"Certainly." Sean replied as they trudged forward.

Unfortunately, being a human and all, Sean couldn't carry the immense weight of the HPSL Technoid Ion Rifle.

Zero X. Diamond
Yep, and here's good ol' self-absorbed me posting again, making sure this newcomer knows straight up who's the boss by denying him something that I wanted exclusve access to.

"Dang, just when I thought I would get a new weapon..." "Well, they're specially designed so only Technoids can use them anyways, but currently my team of crack scientists are working on modifying mine so the trigger will pull instead of requiring a key.

Zero X. Diamond
Jeff. You have Jeff working on it. One dorky teenager does not constitute a crack team.
Spoony Spoonicus
Someone has a favorite character, I think.

I'm just lucky enough to have such people on my side. But we seriously need to head to the next floor." Zero said. They climbed onto the escalator and began upwards. Suddenly, a rocket barreled out of nowhere and slammed into the escalator in front of them. Shrapnel went flying everywhere as half of the moving staircase blew up in front of their faces. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!" Zero Diamond had thrown himself in front of the others acting as a shield and got stabbed in the chest by a flying piece of metal.

Zero X. Diamond
Some might mistake this for a selfless act. This is actually just once again driving home the blatantly stated point that he's the most heroic hero who ever lived.

"Arrrrrrrgh... what a way to go out... *cough cough* I can't die this way!!! I CAN'T!!! *HACK HACK COUGH WHEEEEEEEEEZE*"

Clobberpuppy
Hold me closer Ed, it's gettin' dark. *COUGH COUGH* Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller Out. *COUGH COUGH* Tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas. *COUGH COUGH COUGH* Tell Scarlett I do give a damn. *COUGH COUGH FART*
Zero X. Diamond
Where'd you pick this one up, William Shatner?

It looked grim for our hero as the others looked on in horror. Suddenly, another voice called out, "No!!! I can't let this happen!!! YAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!" Then a major part of the roof blew out and a figure floated in.

Zero X. Diamond
Hooray, it's Deus Ex Machina Man!!!

He wore mithral armor, boots of speed and held a flaming sword in his hand. On his hand there was a ring of fire resistance and a flamedance ring. Around his neck, he wore a bloodstone amulet.

Spoony Spoonicus
Well, someone's a Dungeons and Dragons fan.
Messsenger of Justice
Isn't it spelled 'mythril?' ...what's that, Gehena? ...really? There are that many ways to spell it? I wonder if this story can settle on one spelling if more than one person is writing it.

He was surrounded by a blue power field, like that on a super saiya-jin.

Zero X. Diamond
Writing protip: if you have to describe something by comparing it to something from an anime, don't fucking write about it.
Mayor Mike Haggar
Especially not if it's Dragonball Z, the bottom of the barrel for action anime.
Spoony Spoonicus
I'd have to go with Bleach, personally.  At least in Dragonball the main character don't have to stand around and talk for twenty goddamn minutes in between each punch thrown.

...That honor goes to the pointless filler scenes jammed in every five minutes!

It was Rocky, Zero's best friend.

Zero X. Diamond
ADRIAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ZERO!!! I WON'T LET YOU DIE!!!" Rocky used his immense PSI power to remove the shard of metal from his chest and heal the massive wound. "Ugh... uhh... huh? What happened?" "I saved you from death. What's going on around here??" "They're technoids bent on destroying Ness, his group, myself, and this whole world. Not that much. WHADDO YA THINK???"

Mega Man
Gratitude? Basic human decency?  What are those?

"Geez, that's bad. I think I should come with you." Suddenly, the Technoid Commandant of the Twoson Department Store outpost leapt from the top story and SMASHED down into the floor in front of our heroes. "Greetings mortals. Are you ready to die?"

Zero X. Diamond
A Hexen reference being spoken by a Mega Man X reference in an EarthBound fanfic. How long do you think it'll be before the references become recursive?

He was in a giant Technoid Ride Armor, which Zero identified as the X72 Ultima Goliath Suit.

Spoony Spoonicus
Oo, another thing I'd rather play than read this: Ultima!

Then the Technoid Commandant laughed and dashed into battle.

* Panfilio

Zero X. Diamond
I can't tell; is this better or worse than the awful "super cool" Biblical-sounding names?

charged into battle and hit Zero Diamond up to the 3rd floor and through the roof!
* Panfilio: "Mwahahaha!! You are puny!! You expect to defeat me?? MWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!"
* Panfilio slammed his huge spiked iron fist at Ness! Ness was sent flying, then he hit the wall and got hurt and collapsed...

Zero X. Diamond
Ness, the hero who withstood being in the presence of evil incarnate while his soul was encased in a clunky robot body, gets knocked out by this guy with a single punch.

* Panfilio: "HAHAHA!!! HOW PATHETIC!!! How- GAAACK!!!"
* Zero Diamond fell down into the Ride Armor, picked Panfilio up and threw him at the wall where the escalator once was. Zero Diamond got the X72 Ultimo Goliath Ride Armor.

Zero X. Diamond
Once again, Zero is totally the awesomest badass who ever lived. He'd melt Han Solo's face with his terrifying presence, and make the Terminator piss his pants.

He got out and used his large object expanding mini warp storage to send it to the object examination and storage facility.

Clobberpuppy
The same place the heroes of Ni no Kuni keep about 80 ice cream sandwiches and 50 fire crystals and 116 pieces of wood and 50 cloth scraps and 8 tons of nuts and bolts!
Zero X. Diamond
I could use this giant mech suit to beat the bad guy in one punch, but nah, I'm gonna warp it out of the story instead.

* Zero Diamond: "YOU WILL PAY FOR HURTING NESS THAT BADLY!!!"
* Panfilio: "Fool! I am not as weak as I seem!! Even without that ride armor I can dominate you!!!"
* Panfilio shot a barrage of 6 rockets from his shoulder rocket launcher! 632 HP of damage done to Zero Diamond!

Zero X. Diamond
Alright, so we've established that Panfilio is pretty much just Vile from Mega Man X3 with a sombrero and a fake mustache disguising him.

* Panfilio stole Zero's turn of action!

Zero X. Diamond
Not only a cheap move, but impossible to imagine how this went down.

Panfilio launched a high density laser from his shoulder mounted Proton Cannon! ... just missed!

Clobberpuppy
That was not his Sunday best!

"All right, KL, time for a Combonation attack!"

Clobberpuppy
Those little pretzel snacks with the cheese inside? I love those!

Ton jumped on Kid Lavos's back. "Grudge Rain!" A bunch of needles shot out of KL!

Ton lit the Needles on fir

Zero X. Diamond
Thus completing his Christmas tree.

with his lantern and they shot toward Panfilo! 1000 damage to Panfilo!

"Wind Jitsu!!!",yelled Jack as he attacked Panfilo with a incredibly fast barrage of katana slices.
-800hp damage to Panfilo!

"Take THIS!!!",yelled Panfilo as he shot a blast from his shoulder cannon.
-550hp damage to Jack!

However, just as Jack was hit Sean nailed Panifilo with another blast.
-500hp damage to Panfilo

Now very badly hurt, Panfilo began to back off. He took a couple steps back and then smiled.

"You may have won this battle",he spat,"but I will be back with reinforcements!"
With that, Panfilo blew a hole in the wall and jumped out. The group dashed to the hole just in time to see Panfilo fly away in a jet-like mobile.

"He's not getting away that easily!",

Mayor Mike Haggar
For once, they're not just letting the villain get away so he can power up and come back to pad the story out later? Amazing!

shouted Jack as he ran towards the hole,"WINDWALK!!"

... said Zero Diamond. "It's my duty as a hero and as one of their most primary targets to show these new technoids who's boss."

Zero X. Diamond
Wait, hold up, did we miss something here? Can we dig out the director's cut and find out what the cut dialogue here was?
Bad Box Art Mega Man
The writers flipped, we have no script, why bother to rehearse?

And with that Jack and Zero Diamond were trailing Panfilio on his "jet-like mobile" which Zero corrected to be a "jet-bike."

Zero X. Diamond
Your character is stupid and I'm going to correct you just to be pedantic.

It had only appeared as though Panfilio had taken flight, because he hit a bump on the road while riding with the afterburners on. While Jack flew not far behind him, Zero Diamond continuously dashed towards the Technoid Commandant. Suddenly, ZXD released a burst of steam from his back and the armor opened up, revealing a strange microchip and a thing that resembled a gun.

Zero X. Diamond
Okay, so Zero Diamond is supposed to be just a human wearing robotic armor. The armor looks almost just like Zero's from Mega Man X. How does such thin armor have all these compartments in it?

As he still dashed on, he began making some chirping and squaking sounds, like that of a large bird.

Zero X. Diamond
Dude, what are you doing?? This is like the opposite of badass!!

Soon, a large bird shadow loomed over Zero.

It was huge, larger than even an Albatross, and it was covered from head to tailfeathers in flames. It was ZXD's faithful companion and pet, Drakkan the Phoenix!

Zero X. Diamond
How many stupid auxilliary things does he need? He can mortally wound a guy who was strong enough to defeat the whole party in one shot, has fifty different weapons strapped to himself, and has some sort of magic storage device that can literally store anything. Now he needs to have a fiery bird too?

Then, without warning, a beam fired from the gun resembling object on his back and connected with the firebird. The bird turned into a stream of flames and shot down back into the cannon, turning the microchip a firey red. Then from under his shoulder plates popped armored wings, which too were flaming.

Spoony Spoonicus
Tha's right, girlfriend! Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!
Zero X. Diamond
Fiery wings? This is so 90s it hurts.

The plates themselves tipped up a bit and began shooting jets of fire out, sending Zero Diamond screaming after the runaway technoid. Jack was almost left in the dust, but he too had a couple tricks up his sleeve. He turned down an alley, then came out on a motorcycle.

"Don't ask how I got this, it's a little hole in the plot."

Zero X. Diamond
"I figured it'd go well alongside the gigantic gaping holes in the plot."
Spoony Spoonicus
This scene was cribbed straight from Final Fantasy VII.

he said as he rode on close behind Zero. The other heroes were also nearby, on a side street heading towards the street of the chase, riding in Rocky's sports car.

Zero X. Diamond
So he drove to the department store in a sports car, then went around back, climbed up the fire escape, and blasted a hole through the roof to get inside. All of this, mind you, without having any idea that his best friend's life was in danger. That's apparently just how he goes to the store.

What happened next was astounding.

Zero X. Diamond
Astoundingly stupid.

ZXD got a hold of the jet-bikes bumper, and decided to finish off the damaged Panfilio. He shot about 50 flaming feathers into the exhaust pipe and let go.

Zero X. Diamond
He couldn't have just blew up the jet-bike with his arm cannon or slashed Panfilio in half with his saber sword. That would be cheating.

Then only a quarter of a mile up the road, the jet-bike exploded into a heap of scrap and brought Panfilio with it.

"Now you've seen my wrath and my power technoids! Now you will know what the true meaning of fear is!!" Zero Diamond yelled at the top of his lungs at the pile of burning wreckage.

Mayor Mike Haggar
Yeah, you tell that inanimate pile of scrap metal who's boss!

Having taken out the Technoid Commandant of the Twoson Dept. Store outpost, he fired Drakkan back out of the merger chip and his back closed up again. "Woah..." was all Jack could get out of his mouth he was so awe-stricken.

Zero X. Diamond
Zero could take a shit on the sidewalk and make everybody shed a single tear of wonderment.

Rocky and the others pulled around the corner and stopped almost instantaneously. They too, stared at the heap of melting diodes and metal plating that used to be a Technoid on a jet-bike. Then, the silence was broken by an evil laugh coming from the sky. A Technoid fell out of nowhere in front of Zero Diamond.

"Well well... quite an impressive display for a Humanoid Robot. Our master was right, you are quite the strong one. But I have come to destroy you right now

Zero X. Diamond
As opposed to next Tuesday.

Before you die, I will allow you to know my identity.

Mega Man
Bleach fans will recognize this one: Long droughts in the narrative to save on animation costs and exposit pointless backstory on some nobody who's not going to last another episode. Because that's their go-to excuse to show that Bleach is a unique snowflake among crappy overblown action shows - its throwaway characters have DEPTH!

I am a ZXD-Hunter of the Technoid Horde. We ZXD-Hunters are special amongst the others because we use strategy to destroy our adversaries. In this case, you and you only because that is what our top priority is. My name is Virii, and I have come to destroy you with something your armor's great grandfather had destroyed himself."

Zero X. Diamond
Your armor's great grandfather Chainmail, who begat Breastplate, who begat Kevlar.

ZXD looked somewhat worried, but he held his ground. "Yeah, and just what is that?" Virii held up a floppy disk.

Zero X. Diamond
An evil army of super advanced robots and cyborgs, and they're still using fucking floppy disks??
Bad Box Art Mega Man
Well, at least they've moved up from cassette tapes and punch cards!  I think CRORQ ran on the latter!

"Hah! A floppy disk?? How's that supposed to hurt me??" Virii laughed heartily. "Well well aren't we the cocky one? Well, as you wish. This disk contains the Sigma Virus on it.

Spoony Spoonicus
The world-threatening Sigma Virus fits on one outdated storage disk?

...Well, if they can fit Optimus Prime's entire personality and thousands of years of memories on one 324 kilobyte floppy, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they can do the same for Sigma.

Many many years ago, your armor's ancestor, the original Zero

Spoony Spoonicus
So this is a followup to Mega Man ZX, then?

Boy, the franchise really went downhill after X4...
Bad Box Art Mega Man
But we had some good times again with Mega Man 9 and 10, surely!
Spoony Spoonicus
This is true. It shed nearly all the unnecessary pointless bullshit that dragged the series down and went back to bare basics, and the end result was two flawed but enjoyable games.  Too bad they couldn't keep the momentum going long enough to get Mega Man Universe out and Inafune's departure from the company pretty much closed the book on the franchise for good.
Mega Man
And then he showed his gratitude for twenty-five years of gaming history by replacing me with some other young upstart...
Mighty #9
.... (Quietly opens door and slips out of the room)

was tracking the most evil and vile robot ever created, Sigma. He had cornered Megaman X in Dr. Doppler's Secret Lab, but Zero located and destroyed Sigma forever with the Anti-Sigma Virus vaccine Dr. Doppler had put on his Saber Sword. But all the while X was running down the dead end passage, I was in the lava Sigma had spawned backing him up on this floppy disk.  I had no trouble doing so, because my armor is heat-proof.

Zero X. Diamond
And so was the computer system and this floppy disk apparently.
Bad Box Art Mega Man
Those 1980s heat sinks are some serious shit!

And now I will infect you with the Sigma Virus and you will become the newest member of the Technoid Horde!! YAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Virii launched the floppy disk at Zero Diamond, but Zero caught it in mid-air between his fingers.

Mega Man
Instead of just sidestepping and watching the flimsy thing bust open on the pavement behind him.

"Now now, don't you plan on turning me evil. This disk would have to be absorbed into my armor's programming somehow. Oh my God, no!!" But he had realized it too late. He had already absorbed the Sigma Virus into his body. His color changed from white to black and his eyes turned blood red.

Zero X. Diamond
Because the color of his armor is controlled by its programming, as are the wearer's eyes.

"Sigma... is... REBORN!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! And I will destroy all life on this planet!!!!" Zero Diamond suddenly shouted "No!! I still contol this armor!!" but the voice suddenly died out. "Pitiful human! He ought to know better then defying Sigma!!" Sigma turned around and looked at the others who stood still in shock, horror and sorrow...

Zero X. Diamond
No!! Not that guy we barely knew!!!

Then Rocky stepped forwards... "I will not allow you to kill my best friend! I will destroy you or die trying!!" Sigma laughed in his usual sick, demented fashion and cruelly said, "What a pity such a brave warrior is wasted at the hands of my new body... heh heh heh... oh well... say your prayers foolish human!" And with that, Sigma lunged at Rocky.

* Sigma lunged at Rocky! Rocky stuck out his hand in front of him and Sigma bounced off like a rubber ball! Sigma didn't know what had happened!

Clobberpuppy
All that training I did with Mickey really paid off!

* Rocky: "You don't know what you're up against fool! You still think that humans are helpless against you, but we're not. You are nothing more then an outdated bug and your time to be smashed has come!"
* Rocky focused energy on his Multi-Weapon! It became a Saber Sword!
* Rocky slashed at Sigma with the Saber Sword with a devastating two-hit combo! 540 HP of damage done to Sigma!
* Sigma: "Agh... it's not possible! This body is perfect! Noone can damage it that much!"
* Rocky: "Anything is possible when your heart is pure you scumbag.

Zero X. Diamond
And remember kids, reading opens up a whole new world of fun and imagination.
Clobberpuppy
But please, use this gift responsibly by reading something far better than this!

You do not impress me in the least. I expected better of the "great" Sigma.
* Sigma threw a punch with a tremendous force behind it! 547 HP of damage done to Rocky!
* Sigma: "Who's pathetic now human? Your worthless sack of organs and bones will be a mere speck on this highway when I'm through with you!"
* Rocky: "Aaaaaaaaaargh- YOU FOOL!!! DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU CAN NEVER SUCCEED AGAINST ME?? YOU ARE JUST LIKE GIYGAS, YOU NEVER GIVE UP THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SUPERIOR!!! IF YOU WERE SUPERIOR, YOU'D HAVE ALREADY TAKEN CONTROL OF THE EARTH AND ENSLAVED AND KILLED ALL OF MANKIND LIKE YOU WERE ORIGINALLY MEANT TO DO!! BUT EVEN FORCES WEAKER THEN YOU DESTROYED YOU LIKE THE WORTHLESS CODING YOU ARE!!! NOW YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEARN WHAT TRUE POWER I POSESS!!!"

Zero X. Diamond
Yelling like a child having a tantrum for not getting his way: the sign of any true warrior.
Spoony Spoonicus
It's the same environment I work in, except replace "not getting their way" with "encountering literally any mild inconvenience nobody in their right mind would give the slightest shit about two seconds after the fact."

* Sigma: "Mwahahahahahaha! Puny human! You dare to defy me? Mwahahahahaha-"
* Rocky didn't let Sigma have the chance to stop laughing!

Mega Man
Well, to this story's credit, we do finally have a hero who is smart enough to capitalize on an opportunity instead of just standing there and letting the villain put up his defenses.

Rocky used PK Universal Ultima Bomb! 2847328 HP of damage done to Sigma!

Zero X. Diamond
Rocky used PK Ultra Super Duper Powerful Mega Awesome Bomb! It made the author mash a bunch of random numbers to represent damage!

Sigma quickly saved back into the floppy disk, but still took the damage!

Zero Diamond was cleansed of the Sigma Virus!
* Virii grabbed the floppy disk, scowled at Zero Diamond and yelled "I WILL RETURN!!!"
* Virii warped out before Zero could connect a punch with him!

Mega Man
How many times are you going to spend that nickel of "the throwaway villain getting away just so we can fight him again later and pad the story out even further"?

"Grrrrrr... these ZXD-Hunters are more powerful then I estimated. They are no doubt currently working on several new bodies for Sigma to inhabit.

Zero X. Diamond
So Sigma goes from a virus on a floppy disk that some jerk backed up generations ago in another universe to the most important figure in the Technoids' plans.

I'm afraid we don't have the slightest clue where their stronghold is however,

Zero X. Diamond
Being that I just made it up while writing this.
Spoony Spoonicus
Some people can make up story elements as they go and have the end product turn out relatively well. Key word being "some". Most should at least try to sketch up some kind of storyboard to keep things consistent and cohesive before they commit to a final version!

so we need to focus on destroying all the Technoids scattered about EagleLand before we even try to locate it, or the technoids may kill thousands of innocents while we search. Be warned that there are most likely Ness-Hunters out there searching to destroy you and your friends Ness,

Zero X. Diamond
Judging by how they've fared so far, the Ness-Hunters will be cybernetically enhanced kittens.

and Rocky, since you demonstrated such immense power, there will probably be very strong Rocky-Hunters soon as well. So do you all understand?" Everyone had heard, but were still recovering from the tears they had found when Sigma had almost killed Zero Diamond early on in their hunt for the Technoids.

Zero X. Diamond
The tears they had found in a jar in a lonely weirdo's basement. It was pretty weird so they needed some time to get over it.

Finally, everyone nodded yes, then gravely looked towards the sky, wondering when the madness would finally be at an end.

Spoony Spoonicus
Ah, forced angst. The best part of any godawful piece of garbage.

But they hadn't the time to wonder now, they had to get into Rocky's sports car. Unfortunately, only Ness, Paula, Jeff, Poo and Sean could fit in so Tonberry, Kid Lavos, Jack and Zero Diamond had to ride on Drakkan's back.

Zero X. Diamond
I hope none of you wanted to have kids, because if the fire doesn't flat-out melt your junk, it's definitely going to boil it.

And so, our heroes moved onwards towards the village of Onett to eliminate the terrorous technoid forces that are plaguing EagleLand. The rest of Twoson will have to wait, because Ness's parents are in grave danger. So they trekked onwards to Onett to stop the Technoid Horde from getting the parents of our hero...

Mega Man
Who has yet to do a single thing besides play fourth fiddle to the authors' Gary Stu avatars.

The group sped towards Onett, desperately trying to get there before something horrible happened. In about 10 minutes, they arrived, and were shocked at what they found.

The entire town was deserted. There was not a single sign of life for miles. On top of that, the sky had taken a black tint and a icy cold breeze blew through the streets.

"What happened here?",asked kid Lavos as he slowly stepped off Drakkan's back.

Zero X. Diamond
As sizzling strips of burnt flesh peeled away from his bones, slowly turning to charcoal on the fiery bird's back.

"We must have come too late",sighed Diamond, showing despair in his eyes."they turned this area into a dead-zone..."

"You mean everyone is...gone?",stammered Ness.
"Yes.", replied Diamond as he turned toward him,"A dead zone is an area that has already been conquered. All sentinent beings have been abducted and all the energy has been drained from this area."

"Is there any way we can...reverse this?",asked Jack.

Spoony Spoonicus
If they pull out the Dragon Balls or that huge-breasted bimbo that can just rewrite reality any time she wants, I'm out of here.

"The only way is to destroy Sigma.",stated Zero Diamond.  "So we better find him quickly."

"Well, we better start looking", said Rocky who was now getting back into his car,"Sigma could be destroying another town right now!"

"We should split up to cover more ground!",suggested Jeff,"Me, Ness, Paula, Poo and ZeroDiamond could head to Fourside, and Rocky, Jack, Sean, Ton and Kid Lavos could check out Threed."

"Good idea.",nodded Diamond,"we'll meet back here in 12 hours. Good luck!"
The group said there farewells, then departed. Diamond and his group heading towards Fourside, and Rocky's group speeding off to Threed.

Zero X. Diamond
Hey, that's a good idea! Split the group up so we can sort of minimize the author character effect, and also provide an interesting diversion from--

In 12 hours, however, they came back empty handed.

Zero X. Diamond
GOD DAMN IT

Ness was having a nervous breakdown. "M-m-m-m-my family... the good townspeople... even my evil neighbors... all gone..." Ness burst into tears, as Zero patted him calmingly on the back.

Spoony Spoonicus
Don't read too much into this, but this scene reminds me of something I saw in sixth grade: We had a little pamphlet for a construction project that had some clipart of a robot dumping out a box full of little parts about the size of screw with a nonplussed look on his face.  Being kids and subject to graffiti-ing up everything, everyone drew on it in some way.  One girl drew the robot crying and herself comforting him on there.

I can't be certain about where she is now, but I think she became a serial killer.

 "It's awfully peculiar nothing seems to be wrong in Fourside and Threed... unless... all those people we saw are Doppelbot Technoids!!" Zero Diamond exclaimed. "Doppelbot Technoids," he continued, "are evil robots created in the exact image of a human, object, or even other Technoids."

Clobberpuppy
Spawns of the evil Queen Doppelpopolis.
Zero X. Diamond
And having a Technoid that appears to be a different Technoid would be advantageous because... ?

While Ness remained in a state of mental instability, all the others again were in awe. Zero Diamond had a burst of genius and an ingenious plot formed in his head! "Rocky!! You know how to use PK Universal Time Backup, am I correct?"

Zero X. Diamond
If you ever wanted a more retarded "undo button" for a story than Superman flying around the world backwards, here you go!!
Spoony Spoonicus
Well, at least it's more dignified than Spider-Man making a deal with Satan to throw away 20+ years of character history just because some hack editor didn't like it.

...And now you know why I don't read comics.

Rocky ran through his vast list of PKs and PSIs,

Zero X. Diamond
I can't tell which is funnier: imagining him with the EarthBound HUD floating above his head or him pulling out a spiral notebook and leafing through it.

jumped for joy and said, "By George, I do!! That's it! If I use this, we can remain here, while time backs up all around us!

Zero X. Diamond
Just try to ignore the fact that this will create a second group of you.

Then we can kick the cans of those Technoids who dared to turn a lovely city into a vast lunar looking wasteland! Unfortunately, I will need a drink of some of the water in your flask afterwards Zero, so I can refill my PP.

Zero X. Diamond
Oh, right, of course. He also has a flask of water that can instantly refill all of one's psychic energy. This guy is a walking cheat code.
Spoony Spoonicus
To be fair, that was a mechanic in Earthbound. The thought of drinking water to refill "PP" does make my inner six year old giggle though.

It uses 99.9% of my PP to turn back the gruesome hands of time you know."

Zero Diamond agreed and gave the command for everyone to hold hands. Then Rocky began concentrating hard. Harder then he ever had before, trying to disturb a cosmic force, which would cause them to be in Onett just 10 minutes earlier.

Zero X. Diamond
Which would do nothing to help since this all happened over twelve hours ago, but hopefully would allow them to telefrag their past selves and end this piece of shit early.

Then, slowly, the scenery around them began to change... it began to resemble Onett, then, it looked just as it had before, only the buildings seemed a lot more torn up. Then Rocky collapsed from the massive loss of PP. They had made it to 10 minutes in the past giving them a chance to stop the Dead Zone from being created from this beautiful town.

Zero X. Diamond
I had no idea they filmed that movie in Onett!

Zero Diamond handed the flask to Rocky and he drank from it, regaining all stats to his maximum. "Thanks Zero, but we haven't got time to stall any longer. We must go find the Technoids ravaging Onett before they summon the Death Beacon, causing Onett to turn itself inside out and outside in at the same time, thus cancelling out both of them and turning everything to lunar looking dust."

Zero X. Diamond
The worst attempt at technobabble ever.

Zero Diamond faced the city. "You're absolutely right Rocky, we need to get in there and kick their cans!!" Tonberry piped up, "Before we go in there, can I ask you something?" Zero turned and replied, "Sure, what?" "Well umm... wouldn't WE be killed and mutilated into lunar dust if we happened to not find them in exactly 9 minutes and 38 seconds?"

Zero X. Diamond
Well actually, if you'd have bothered to even read the other guy's post, you'd know that you'll just be abducted and the town will only be left empty with a dark sky and icy wind. But, you know, he implied something you didn't like so you had to put getting your way before paying attention to the story.

 Zero gazed into the city then turned back and yelled "Oh my dear lord he has a point!! We need to find them!!"

Spoony Spoonicus
Ah, yet another wonderful cliche. Jump headlong into a dangerous situation with no plan and hope it works out for the best!  Which it always will.

So the group of heroes sprints into the city to find the streets torn up, sewer lids stuck in the sides of buildings, foot and hand shaped imprints on walls,

Zero X. Diamond
My god, the Ninja Turtles had it out with Shredder's minions here!!

and all kinds of other miscellaneous chaos. "My god... how could anyone do something this disgusting to a city like Onett?" Tonberry mumbled under his breath. "Because it is our commands!" said a voice from behind Ton, who was taking up the rear. Ton felt his blood turn ice cold. "Ummmmm... guys? I uhh... think we found them..." Zero turned around in the blink of an eye and looked into the faces of the destruction.
The one behind Ton had red hair and the same cold-as-steel eyes as all Humanoid Technoids. He carried a HDML Megaton Ion Technoid Cannon, an experimental weapon made by the horde's technological labs.

Zero X. Diamond
Welp, they gave an object a proper noun name. You know that this thing's going to end up in Zero's inventory now.

The one to his left appeared more robotic then him. He stood 9 feet tall with a robotic eye for a head, his left arm a a giant arm with a large drill, for his right arm, a giant robotic arm with a Mace weapon on the end of it. The technoid on the right was another humanoid model. This one had 9 inch spikes coming out of his boots, spikes on his leather gloves and spiked hair.

Zero X. Diamond
His name was Spike McSpikerton.

These guys looked like they seriously could devestate Onett with a Dead Zone curse.

Mayor Mike Haggar
Really? I never would have guessed.

"Now look here Technoids, don't force me to have to get messy with you! If I have to, I will reduce you to nothing more then mere scrap!" Zero shouted. "We are not afraid of mortals such as yourself. We will crush you, and then this town." Then the Technoids attacked!

* Bloodbane Jack, Industrial Wrecker #1 and Megaspike the Punkbot attacked!

Zero X. Diamond
Close enough.
Bad Box Art Mega Man
Clearly a ripoff of Punk from my third Game Boy adventure! Those were the days!
Mega Man
WHOSE third Game Boy adventure?

* Bloodbane Jack punched Zero and Rocky to his battle area!
* Industrial Wrecker #1 knocked Ness and his friends to his battle area!
* Megaspike the Punkbot knocked Tonberry, Kid Lavos, Sean and Jack to his battle area!

Spoony Spoonicus
They're going to have one HELL of a Shadow Duel!

* Zero Diamond sent a mega kick at Bloodbane! 154 HP of damage done to Bloodbane!