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6/08/2013

New Adventures of Mega Man - In Conclusion

Spoony Spoonicus
There you have it, the relatively obscure but infamous to all who know it Brazilian Mega Man comic.  But really, is it any wonder why?  I could sit here for the next four hours and write out a pages-long essay on why this comic doesn't work on any level, but for the sake of our sanity I'll keep it brief.  What little story there is makes no sense, the humor is terrible, the art quality is all over the map, it shifts tones at the drop of a hat, nothing ever seems to actually get accomplished, the characters run the gamut from bland to obnoxious.  But most of all, the all-too-frequent fight scenes are just drawn-out, drudgerous affairs with no tension and virtually nothing at stake because we have no likable characters or story to get invested in.  It's like an awful fanfic run completely amok, Except it wasn't because this comic was officially licensed by Capcom.  Thanks to that, Novas Aventuras de Mega Man is destined to stand, now and for all time, as another blemish on the once-proud name of Mega Man.  Right alongside such turkeys as Mega Man X6, Mega Man X7 and the two DOS games. 
Mayor Mike Haggar
A comic can transcend mediocre artwork and even bad dialog to an extent, but only if there is a legitimately good story to back it all.  Even in an adaptation of a video game, you need to give us more reason to root for the heroes than just "well they're the heroes of the games so you should root for him here too"; you can't just paste bad jokes, annoying characters and endless fight scenes on a Mega Man backdrop and expect us to stay invested based on our love of the title character.  As it stands, Novas Aventuras de Mega Man is just boring, and in an entertainment medium that is probably the single worst sin you can commit.
Mega Man
If you want a good Mega Man comic to read, then go pick up Mega Man Megamix/Gigamix or the Archie Comics series right this minute. Not only are they far better written and drawn than this junk, but they have a legitimate love for the characters and scenario, as well as a fundamental understanding of what made the franchise a gaming legend to begin with.  Not to mention their humor, which is genuinely funny and pertinent to the series instead of just the same generic gags weeaboos love to jackhammer into everything they create every five seconds.
Bad Box Art Mega Man
What makes Mega Man and his ilk gaming legends?  That's easy! It was the golden era of gaming, when video games were relatively simple and captured our hearts solely through their challenging gameplay and the imagination employed in their design, pushing our game systems' primitive technology to its very limits to create something not only amazing for its era, but unforgettable in its execution to this very day!  Why, I defy you to name a single Wii U, Playstation 3 or Xbox 360 game that has that same soul to it!
Spoony Spoonicus
The air of sappy nostalgia in this room is so thick you could cut it with a knife, and I love it for that.  But on that note, I think it's time to cut loose this lousy comic once and for all.  Do the honors, Mr. Bomb.
Zeeky H. Bomb
Ziggy Boogy Doog!


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