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Lawyer Man: Author's Introduction

So it might come as a surprise to some of you, but I wasn't always the super cool guy you know today.  Once, long ago, I was incredibly lame and weird.  Out of this primordial badness crawled many terrible things that mankind was forever worsened by.  And of these oozing monstrosities, one stands out ahead of the rest: Lawyer Man.

Lawyer Man is an interesting case because it fulfills so many of the qualities required of a bad webcomic: It's a sprite comic featuring Mega Man recolors, way too many characters from way too many weird sources, the author's self-insert (himself at 13, no less) and terrible, inconsistent writing of a story that was made up as it went along.  Somehow, it managed to limp on for 88 strips and 17 "special" strips before I finally completely gave up on it.

The backstory was essentially that some Japanese knockoff robot factory created two robotic lawyers (whose designs were clearly stolen from Dr. Light and Dr. Wily) to help deal with rising crime rates around the globe.  The first one was a dick and sucked, the second one was apparently perfect and great.  They tried to kill each other later, and the second one wounded the first one and then both left to head out into the real world.  None of this matters at all, of course, as there is no actual lawyering ever achieved in the strip.

Something that makes this particularly interesting is that the character of Lawyer Man actually was conceived in an unholy union between yours truly and none other than Creepy Fanboy, Mary-Sue Author Extraordinaire, covered by the Lardpirates some time ago.  A bad idea from the start, it's an awful trainwreck to behold.  Hopefully you will enjoy.

Read on!