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6/20/2017

Five Youtube shows that need to go the way of the dodo already

Cinemasins - Because we apparently live in a world where if you can't enjoy something, it is your holy mission to amass a hate-mob to lynch whoever made it.  So welcome to yet another tired series about nitpicking every single facet of anything even remotely popular in order to whip forum-trolling trash into a frenzy and get it driven from the internet and bully its creators into suicide! Truly, this marvelous invention of a worldwide communications and content network has brought us enlightenment and advancement as a species.

* You may think this paragraph hypocritical coming from someone who runs two websites based around criticizing/mocking popular video games and things associated with them.  Well, you'll just have to figure that one out yourself, Sherlock.

I Hate Everything - Bla bla bla shrieking manchild swears a lot about any petty garbage he can to sound cool among 13-year-old idiots and 35-year-old parasites who have no actual problems of their own to worry about.  I've never even watched one of these videos, but I'll bet you ten-to-one I'm totally correct in that assumption.  And no, I won't watch any IHE to confirm this, because every single video of theirs that comes up on my recommended list has me looking at this hideous avatar:


No video with that ugly piece of shit on it will ever earn a cent from me, period.

Channel Awesome - Hey, remember when these guys took nearly $100,000 from their fans to "revamp their website" and "draw in new talent" and instead took over two years to put up a $60 Wordpress template, threw several of their longtime contributors under the bus and pocketed the difference?  Apparently not, because they're still around and making the same shitty, uninspired "angry screaming reviewer" content they always did, now interspersed with constant cutaways to "funny" sketches that have lower production values than a first grade play just so they can claim they're putting that money to "good use" and not just spending it all on hookers and blow.  Stay classy, boys.

Jon Tron, et al - "I scream at video games, just like James Rolfe!  I swear a lot and make poop jokes, just like James Rolfe!  I do cheap special effects and pointless drawn-out skits just like James Rolfe!  Love me!  LOVE MEEEEEEEE!"  Yeah, you and every other ten-year-old with a shitty microphone and a copy of Fraps do too; it's not fresh, unique, clever or even remotely funny anymore.  Hell, even your hero James barely makes AVGN episodes these days because you chucklefucks have completely run the concept into the ground.  Find a new gimmick.  Or better yet, move out of your mom's house and get a real job.

Yugioh The Abridged Series - A redubbed commercial anime that's very aware of how corny and ridiculous its own concept is was a pretty novel idea... in 2007.   These days it's more of a parody of itself than anything, with more dated memes and empty "remember that" references than your average episode of Family Guy, and about as many laughs to boot.  Not to mention it's spawned an endless plethora of terrible knockoffs headed by every ten year old with a copy of Windows Movie Maker and a shitty microphone who are desperate for any kind of acknowledgement from anyone, no matter how much of a plagiaristic, callous piece of shit they have to be to get it.  Hell, not even LittleKuriboh gives two fucks about the series anymore, only churning out a token video every four months or so just to appease the seven grade-schoolers still watching and give them some new jokes to steal.  It's time to give this show - and the "abridging" concept as a whole - the coup de grace already.