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1/04/2013

Five simple requests for game companies.

1. Have some gameplay footage in the trailer.  Good for you, you have enough of a budget to create pretty CGI cinematics.  News flash: So does every other game company on the planet, it ain't that impressive.  Now show me some gameplay so I might feel compelled to maybe purchase your product.

2. If you're making a PC game, name your self-extracting installer something other than Setup.exe or Install.exe.  Every company everywhere does this, so it gets a mite bit confusing when you have a catch-all directory or CD/DVD to save all your installers.

3. Skippable tutorials and cinematics.  Yes, I've played a video game before.  No, I don't need to be told how the buttons and control stick work every single time I restart your game.  And no, I don't need to sit through the same plot scenes every single time I replay your game.  I've already seen them once, now let me spare myself from sitting here doing nothing for the next five minutes so I can move on to the next goal.

4. No more plot codices.  If you want a story in your game, then have some story in your game.  Calm the fuck down and build some atmosphere and characters once in a while instead of just cutting the story short and pasting a paragraph in some out of the way notebook that we have to go well out of our way to read.  Stop pandering to Xbox Live kiddies and their five-second attention spans and let the adults have their storytelling experience back (and you did make your game for adults... right?).

5. Knock off the pandering in general.  "Oh look, we have naked boobies and truckloads of gore!  We have swearing and threats of genital mutilation in every single line of dialog!  We have LGBTQ characters and fully clothed sex scenes involving every possible combination thereof!  Let's brag in every news outlet about how PROGRESSIVE we're being!"  Good for you.  Too bad it all comes at the expense of rushed buggy gameplay, content being stripped off the disc to be sold later as paid DLC, and one of the biggest copout endings in the history of gaming.  Let us also not overlook the fact that far better games like Persona 4, Fallout New Vegas and Catherine also prominently featured LGBTQ characters and/or sex scenes, yet drew nowhere near the amount of controversy because they didn't go around bragging about it as a "major feature".  Because it wasn't.  And it isn't in your game either.  Quit half-assing your game's development just to pander to the creepiest element of your fanbase.